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Bicurious Juan: College Junior

Editor’s Note: This is contributed by a reader. It was not necessary to edit this submission. Regardless of your sexual orientation, consider contributing to the dialogue a 99gay-men by submitting your personal true experience on our “share your true story” form.

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I classify myself, I guess, as bicurious, even though I’m probably really bisexual. Here’s my story, so I hope that clarifies what I mean.

A neighbor boy and I were friends and in the same class all through grade school. When it was time for high school, I went to a private, Catholic school, and he went to the local public school. We didn’t spend as much time together, but we still stayed friends. We would hang out sometimes on weekends.

One day, when we were both high school sophomores, we started talking about sex. Neither of us had any sexual experiences at all, but we talked about it anyway. We talked about what it would be like to actually have sex.

He asked if I had ever thought about oral sex. I said that I thought about it a lot. He said he did too and that he was really curious to know what it felt like. I admitted that I was really curious too.

He asked, “Do you want to try it with each other?”

It didn’t even shock me when he asked that. I just agreed that we should try. We did and we both enjoyed it a lot.

That became part of our friendship the rest of the way through high school. Every time we had a little privacy, we would satisfy each other. I discovered that I really enjoyed giving and receiving.

We tried anal sex a few times, but we were never successful. We didn’t know enough about it to realize that you had to prepare things a little–if you know what I mean. So it never worked for us. We were both disappointed, but then we just went back to doing what we could do and really liked a lot.

When we graduated, we went to college in different states. I went to a university (Catholic, again) in our city, and he went to a school about five hours away. His family moved soon after we finished high school, so he doesn’t get back very often–hardly ever.

In college, I dated a lot of girls and had sex with girls for the first time. It was fantastic. I got pretty serious about one girl. We dated for a long time, but we fought too much. We broke up, and I started thinking about having sex with guys again.

I would especially like to try again what my buddy and I couldn’t achieve. I want to know what that feels like from both sides. So I’m curious.

Yet, I know that I could be happy for the rest of my life, if I found the right girl and only had sex with her. So in that way, I guess I’m straight.

Anyway, I’m still curious about being with a guy, even though I have no romantic attraction toward males–even very good looking ones. But if I find a guy that I trust, I do want to try, before I find that female that I will spend the rest of my life with.

Juan, a college junior

 

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