Gay-Straight Date Question

Editor's Note: If you haven't read the context for these answers, please click here.

If a guy you knew was gay and asked you out, what would your reaction be?

I think the first thing I would be was flattered.  I mean, if anyone finds you attractive, whether it be a girl or guy, I would take that as a compliment first and foremost.  But then, at the same time, I think it would depend on how long I’ve known the person to judge what my second reaction would be.  I’ve known gay people that have told me that they think I’m cute or that they like me or whatever, but I’ve never been asked out on a date before.  If I’ve known the person for a while, and have developed a friendship with the guy, I would think that he would know that I’m straight.  So asking me out, I would think, wouldn’t make much sense.  So I would really just wonder why he thought that now would be a good time for us to start dating when he knows I like girls.  If I haven’t known the person for that long yet, and he asked me out, I don’t think I would be upset or anything. 

He didn’t know I was straight; perhaps, I didn’t know he was gay. I would probably just let him know that I’m not interested, I’m straight, and see where the friendship goes from there. I know some guys, gay or straight, go into a friendship looking for a relationship or sex. So if that’s all he had in mind, then nothing else would probably arise from our friendship I guess. But if friends is cool with him, then I’m fine with it too. Now, I can’t help but think while I write all of this that another thought might sprint through my mind. And that would be, “What am I doing that would make him think I’m gay?!?” I have a feeling that most guys if there met this situation, would probably go home and start pondering this very question. They would get insecure about themselves and start wondering how many other people they know think they’re gay. I’m sure I would probably think the same thing for a little bit. But then again, if I went and hit on a girl, or asked her out, and she replied, “I’m a lesbian,” I doubt she’s going home thinking “why did he think I was straight?!? How many other people do I know think I’m straight?” So I really don’t think it should be that big of a deal. Just because we’re asked out by a gay man, doesn’t mean that all of a sudden we might appear to be gay. So I think that notion would, as I said, sprint through my mind, since I would quickly dismiss it.

To read next question and answer, click here.