Gustavo Comes Out In Middle School

Editor's note:  We received this from a ready and publish it entirely unedited.

Ever since I was a little Kid I felt these urges for guys, But around here that wasn't consider being to friendly. So I hid the truth until I was in middle school & had a breaking point.

I remember that Day,I still relive it as if it were a nightmare that never goes away,I felt like I was living a lie,so one day while my family was having dinner, My dad notice I didn't finish my food, he asked me if something was bothering me,I told him "Yeah, there actually is something bothering me" I felt it in my heart that I needed to tell him, but at the same time my mind was telling me nows not the time. So my dad constently kept asking me questions. "Are you being Bullied?" "Did you see something on TV that you weren't suppose too?" "Did your aunt Lucy told you that I stoled 10$ from her when we were younger". He went at it for 5 minutes till he got annoyed & he said started asking personal Questions. "Did you steal something?" "do you like someone?" I told him Yes (At the time I had a crush on my Straight best friend) "Whats her name?" My dad asked me, "Its actually a he,Dad"

The entire room felt like time was going to pause forev! er, My m om droped a plate that she was washing, & ran out of the room,I could see her tears sparkling out of her face as if they were stars, My brother felt like he was going to throw up. & My dad crambled his hands together & his face was soo....It was like I killed one of his sons that he always wanted.

That day he took me to go to see a priest. after long pontless hours of wasting my time, he took me home & grounded me. I remember being in the bathroom,punching the wall over & over several times,I was holding the pain inside of me, so I wouldn't cry,I havent cried in over 7 years, not since I found me dog scraped on the side of the road in the snow.

I remember grabing a razor & my hands trumbeling as if they were rubberbands.  After having a moment I finally put the razor down, & I think that was one of the most proudest days of my life.

But days later my Dad kept on taking me to see the same priest, talking about bathtising me,he also forced me to pratice boxing to man me up I suppose, thats when I lost it,I took a swing at my dad & turns out,I could defend myself better than I thought.I was the first Gay in my family,which if you come from a family that has over 20 aunts,30 uncles & over 100 cousins, is not the best thing to do. I remember telling my dad that I love Men & I love God at the same time.

Ever since then I been openly Gay, Its like I cant not tell anyone that I'm not Gay, its like the more I say it,I more weight comes off from my back.

What I learned from my experience was that Parents are selfish, they only think of themselves, "Oh how is this going to effect me?" "What did I do to deserve this?" "Why me?", Its like when they lose a son they need someone to blame.

Being Gay just means your attracted to the same sex, THAT'S IT,It doesn't change the person you were before. & as for god,well god loves us uncondionably, that means if you were in a car accident & couldn't walk, he'd still lo! ve you. Compare being Gay to stealing or killing, who are we really hurting?

Anyways,Years later,It feels so good to finally be myself, to be comfortable with my own sexuality.

I LOVE Being Gay

by Gustavo