Jake: Coming Out to Family

It all started in Chaos. My family was a wreck. My mother always cried. My father was gone and I found myself taking care of my younger siblings nightly. It was the end of my freshman year of high school. I was only fifteen and dealing with my parents divorce. I was stressed out with school, grades, and my messed up family. Like every teen I needed to relieve stress and desire. So I turned to the internet. The internet helped me relieve all of my stress, until my mom walked in.

She did not know what to say.

For the next few weeks nothing was brought up about what my mother saw me doing. Then one afternoon, I got a call from my mother while I was at work. She simply said in a blunt tone, “Jay, I am picking you up right now and we need to talk”. My heart dropped. I knew exactly why she was calling; she found my unclean internet material.

A few minutes later she drove up. I got into the car and everything was silent, I could cut the tension with a knife.

As we were driving she simply said, “I need all of your passwords for the internet, your dad and I will talk to you when we get back to the house.”

When we arrived to my house we both went into her bedroom and there my father was.

At that point my mother told me everything. She told me about what she found and the boys on the internet.

My family is very religious and they told me how much I was sinning. How I am going hell if I do not stop my immoral ways.

I can still hear my mother’s voice saying something I will never forget, “Jake, I wish you were in jail for murder. That would be better than being gay”.

When they were finished I walked up to my room and cried myself to sleep. My family did not love me anymore, what am I going to do? I felt worthless. I felt like scum. I didn’t do anything wrong. So what if I liked guys there was nothing wrong with that.

My family never got over the whole gay issue. My family eventually got over their issues and unfortunately to my parent’s dismay I did not.

Now that I am in college and out of the house the whole homosexuality issue is not brought up. It just lurks around my family like a ghost. We never speak of it. We ignore it. Although my parents disapprove of me being gay, it will always be there. They will just have to love me for who I am.