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Welcome to 99Gay-Men!

This site is about gay men with other men. Men finding men. Men dating men. Men loving other men. Men telling others about their feelings, and the ways that all of that relates to the rest of the world.

We believe that gay sex is a valid expression of love, but we do not describe such encounters on this site so that we can keep this site available to gay and lesbian youth and others who are questioning and/or need help,

We know that the best place to meet other men is in the community. Look around for gay groups that share your interest–gay cycling groups, gay bowling groups, gay movie groups. But if you can’t find those in your community, consider patronizing gay bars or joining gay dating or personals sites. Any place that you can meet men is better than staying in your bedroom alone and worrying about why you can’t meet anyone, 99Gay-Men.US is a growing community of gay men, bisexual men and bi-curious men. We welcome and encourage the participation of all gay, bisexual, bi-curious men.

How to find a partner on the Internet

We are a member of the Online Dating Association ODA, created to ensure high standards of behavior by dating service providers serving the UK. As an ODA member, we are obliged to have appropriate and effective arrangements to handle complaints and queries. ODA provides general information about common queries users have about dating services, but do not directly address individual complaints that are the appropriate responsibility of member companies hitwe messages.

I met him on the website after some communication over winks and emails. He blinked to me and I answered him, so we decided to meet for lunch a week later after a few phone calls. But I need to share some advice to help other users and the owner of the site.

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I am a barbarian…  According to the “macho-man” who poses as Michelle Bachmann’s husband, I am a barbarian.  I find that to be something of a compliment, since I have never been in a fight in my life–except during my military days when, frankly, I found myself expected to kill other people at the insistence of my homo-phobic government, although the people that I was expected to kill were probably equally homophobic.  No one ever thought to call me that before.  Lots of people called me a gentleman, a friend, a bit of a geek and many other things…but never a barbarian.

It sure seems to me that my friends were more accurate than Bachman’s prissy husband, but maybe I am wrong.  Still, Michelle and her husband believe they can set me on the “right” – or “righteous” path.  Read more about gay conversion therapy.


Movement to Provide Veterans Benefits to gay men and women discharged due to DON’T ASK DON’T TELL


DADT Repeal Mentioned Briefly by Obama

President Obama mentioned the repeal of Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell as one of his achievements in the state of the union address. Of course, many of us in the LGBT community wonder whether he will tackle other important issues related to us including repealing the so called Defense of Marriage Act and other federally mandated discriminatory laws and regulations.

DADT Repealed!

I hope you will take the time to write to Joe Solmanese (HRC), Senator Collins, Senator Lieberman and any of your own representatives who supported us in this effort! In my own case, I need to write three letters that are not quoted below.

In addition to the six Republicans who voted for cloture on the repeal bill — Sens. Scott Brown (R-Mass), Susan Collins (R-Alaska), Mark Kirk (R-Ill.), Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) and George Voinovich (R-Ohio) — Republicans Sens. Richard Burr (N.C.) and John Ensign (Nev.) voted for the final passage of the repeal bill. Collins had co-sponsored the repeal bill.In a statement, Servicemembers United executive director Alex Nicholson said, “This vote represents an historic step forward for this country, and it will very likely be a life-changing moment for gay and lesbian troops.” Of course, the majority of Democratic representatives and senators supported the repeal.


(To see how your Senators voted, click here.)

Joe Solmanese (Human Rights Campaign) wrote the following:

Dear Gregory,

Breaking news: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal has just cleared its last congressional hurdle.

This discriminatory law will be relegated to the dustbin of history. This stain on our nation will be lifted forever. And you made it happen.

Today, America lived up to its highest ideals of freedom and equality. Today, our federal government recognized that ALL men and women have the right to openly serve the country they believe in. That it doesn’t matter who you are, or who you love – you are not a second-class citizen.

Think of the kids out there tonight, watching this on the news – kids who are bullied for being different, who live in fear daily that their parents will hate them if they find out the truth… Think of the relief, the empowerment, the sense of possibility they’ll feel, knowing that the U.S. military has said: if you’re lesbian or gay, you are worthy. We want you to join us, side by side, as equals.

Think of the people across the globe – some in countries where it is literally a life-or-death decision to come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender – who will hear this news and know we’re one step closer toward a world where no one needs to live in fear because of who they are.

And take a moment to truly comprehend the lives ruined over the last 17 years because of this discriminatory law. The soldiers, sailors, airmen, translators, doctors and more, whose military careers were ended, whose livelihoods were threatened, whose friendships were cut off, all because the forces of bigotry and fear held out for so long.

They can never get those years back. But I hope they know that their sacrifice meant something. Their courage and integrity helped a nation understand what it means to serve. And that, more than anything else, helped bring about this historic change.

With your help, we’ve spent 17 years fighting for this moment. I cannot thank you enough for the dedication you’ve shown to get us here. Here’s a brief snapshot of what you helped HRC do to win this.

Senators Joe Lieberman and Susan Collins have been our steadfast champions in this fight. Here’s what Senator Lieberman said today that shows how your energy, your drive, your commitment and your focus have been behind every single step: “This historic day has been seventeen years in the making and would not have happened without the leadership of Joe Solmonese and the Human Rights Campaign.”

We did it. Together. Thank you.


Joe Solmanese


I wrote an email to Joe thanking him for his effort, but I forgot to save a copy.


Here’s what I wrote Senator Susan Collins of Maine:


Senator Collins,


Thank you for your support on the repeal of DADT.


I am a decorated Vietnam war vet who only had to lie one time about my sexual orientation.  I am grateful that future men and women will not have to lie or hide at all.


I shall happily support your reelection effort albeit in a small amount and from out of state. 



my signature



I reluctantly wrote this to Senator Joe Lieberman:


Senator Lieberman,


Thank you for your support on the repeal of DADT.


I am a decorated Vietnam war vet who only had to lie one time about my sexual orientation.  I am grateful that future men and women will not have to lie or hide at all.


I write this because of the endorsement of the HRC.  While I shall not have an opportunity to support your re-election, I wish you the best. Your courageous action in opposition to your new Republican friends almost compensates for your support of the hipocrite and newly extreme McCain.


my signature



Here’s the proclamation for the white house that so many of us worked so hard to elect the current president said:  “Saying that they had been ‘focused’ on the vote, a senior White House aide intimately familiar with the administration’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ repeal efforts was unwilling to say whether President Obama agrees with Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Senate Armed Services Committee chairman Carl Levin (D-Mich.) that DADT-releated investigations and discharges should be halted immediately.”  So, “our” president isn’t sure whether human rights violations should be halted immediately or whether they should wait.  Hmmm.


Here’s my response to the White House upon learning that they may not enforce the repeal of DADT:


If the president is not willing to implement fully the new bill repealing DADT immediately I shall join any movement for a new nominee for the Democratic party’s nomination for President in 2011-2012.  I am exhausted by my disappointment in this man.


Further, I encourage White House staffers to join me.  Certainly the regret stretches far beyond Main Street even to the overworked staff (for what reasons?) on Pennsylvania Avenue.


“Yes we can” has become “we can but we won’t.”


Many of us have adopted the cry of ABO–anybody but Obama.  If we take the ridiculous step to decide to vote for a Republican, at least we’ll get honest bigotry rather than the internalized hidden sort exemplified in our current president.


I am a dedicated Democrat, but only if we get true (small “d”) democratic results.



universal healthcare = No
transparent gov’t = No
end war = No
military civil rights = No
reg. of big business = No
fair tax on wealthy = No
won 2008 election = Hell No


my signature





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99Gay-Men.US is designed to be GLBT family friendly and suitable for men (and sometimes women) of all ages, including teenagers who are gay, bisexual or questioning of their sexual orientation. The site below may sometimes have somewhat more explicit descriptions of the activities of gay men in dating and other situations whether or not those men are part of a committed couple. Furthermore, the site below is also more likely to contain satire that may be offensive to some members of the LGBT community. It is not designed to be a site for young people who may not recognize the role of satire.


Latest Additions:  

We have a new gay news page currently concentrating on marriage equality, don’t ask don’t tell and homophobia headlines.

In our Pix Picks section, we offer photos of three attractive men (likely not gay) from the worlds of modeling, athletics and acting.

In the Coming Out Section for Gay and Bisexual Men, we have a new submission from a reader regarding self-identifying as bisexual as he learned to recognize his desires.

In the Video & Film Section: Reviews of Three Dancing Slaves, Fashion Victims, Circuit, Transamerica, Ciao, Querelle, Ang Lalake Sa Parola, Transamerica, 20 Centimeters, Fox And His Friends, Like A Brother, Paper Clips, Breakfast With Scot, Zerophilia, Slutty Summer; Ma Mere, Available Men, and masterpiece, Shortbus. Also…newly added video clips including the anti-DADT anthem and clips from three episodes of a TV series.

In the Dating Section: Date Safety; Some Ideas For Unique Gay Dates; Perfecting Your Gay Kiss; Conversation Topics For First Date; Getting The Guy’s Attention.

In the Society Section: A homophobic-hate tweet, a Three Part Essay On Homophobia and a few observations about Marriage Equality.Throughout Our Site:  You’ll learn from the variety of perspectives offered by gay men, bisexual and bi-curious men. Our specialties are coming out and same sex relationships, including gay dating. We also provide (and welcome your) reviews of gay and gay-theme films and television programs.


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