Am I Gay?
“Am I Gay?” is a question that many, although not all, of us have asked at certain periods of our lives. Based
upon what I’ve found at “Yahoo! Answers,” this query occurs most often during adolescence. Of course that is not
always the case. Sometimes men well into their thirties and beyond question whether they truly understand their
own sexual orientation.
I’m sure a lot of you are asking, “Why label yourself?” However, the question is more fundamental than what is
the best word to describe one’s sexual orientation. People confronted with the question want to know whether they
have accurately identified their own feelings and whether those feelings are more than a phase that lots of other
Two Relevant Features Of Human Sexuality
All except the most dogmatic would agree that most people are somewhat bisexual. Although the Kinsey scale has
been largely debunked in the scholarly literature primarily because of his poor sampling techniques, most of us
understand that sexual orientation is much more of a continuum than it is a bi-polar designation. It is not
Kinsey’s overall conclusions that are in doubt; it is merely his allocation of percentages of the population to his
In addition, sexual orientation throughout the life cycle is somewhat fluid for many people. Some people were
attracted to both sexes (or believed they were) in early adolescence and later discover that they have a strong
preference for one sex over the other. Conversely, some other people during adolescence believe that they are only
attracted to one sex just to discover later in life that they have fallen in love with someone of their
non-preferred sex. Perhaps, though, it is only our degree of self-awareness that is fluid rather than the sexual
Gay, Bisexual, Straight Or Straight But Curious
Most of us, however, if we answer truthfully, can choose one of the useful designations that contemporary
English language provides for us: gay, bisexual or straight, recognizing that the term we have chosen to use is not
absolute. It seems that among self-described straight men, more are admitting to being bi-curious. I have written elsewhere on 99gay-men.us about this phenomenon.
We’ll provide our responses to such questions with examples that fall into several categories: Adolescents, adult men and a
self-test about being gay.