Finding Gay Friends In The Real World
People are people. No matter their sexual orientation, people are different because we were made that way. Do
you know anyone with the same finger prints as another person? The answer is definitely no. Making friends with any
type of people is basically the same. So featured in this article are some guidelines to finding other gay
friends in the real world.
Since most people in society identify as heterosexual, statistically, people who are not heterosexual are in the
minority. Therefore, finding other gay friends in the real world is sometimes a challenge. Even if you know someone
who is also gay, that certainly does not mean that you will automatically get along with each other. Since whole
gay lifestyle communities have sprung up on the Internet, it is somewhat easier to meet people there. Doing this is
real life is not so easy, but hopefully this guide will help.
Foundations Of Making Friends
It is important to realize that you shouldn’t make friends with someone just because of their sexual
orientation. A person’s sexuality defines the person’s orientation, not the person.
But if it’s your goal to meet gay men or lesbians because you want to get to know them better, then
you may be on the right track. Look around at work, at the coffee shop, at school or just anywhere. You’ll
find them and when you do, strike up some casual conversation. This will allow something to happen. However, if the
person is not interested in being your friend, back off gracefully and courteously.
You shouldn’t also make false assumptions about their preferences. Take the time to get to know them
individually and find out if your share any personal interests. Yes, even gays sometimes stereotype others or have
their own prejudices about other gay men or lesbians. It is important to leave your own prejudices where they
belong, in the trash.
A person who likes playing chess will sometimes join a chess club in order to meet other to play chess with. In
a similar way, you can look into joining clubs and groups that have a homosexual slant. It might be a political
group pushing for gay rights. It might be a support group for people who have experienced prejudice. Or it might
just be a social club set up to help people with this in common come together and meet each other to attend movies,
discover new restaurants and more. Join whichever appeals to you most.
You could also find out about hangouts in your area that are known for attracting a gay crowd. If there are one
or more of these, try checking them out. If you are nervous, take a friend with to make you more comfortable.
This is the real world, but the Internet can still be a useful tool in finding those places and resources. Get
online to look up groups, clubs, and hangouts you might want to get involved with or visit. Using the web to
actually meet people is dangerous, but using it indirectly to find places to meet people is a good idea.
Assuming you are “out,” tell people in your current social circle that you want to meet some people who are of
your sexual orientation. They might know someone to introduce you to. Just because your current pals are straight
does not mean they don’t know others who are not straight. Indeed, the simple act of coming out is a great way to discover new friends among your existing social
circles or through friends of friends.
If your situation allows, you may even want to consider moving into a gay-friendly neighborhood. Many larger
cities have such neighborhoods, where a large percentage of the residents are homosexual. The local businesses and
hangouts are likely to be good spots to meet people.
When finding other gay friends in the real world, you may have to be patient. It does not happen overnight, but
it’s not as overwhelming as it seems either. Just go where the kind of people you want to meet are likely to be,
and you will eventually make a friend.