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From Our LGBT Readers And Supporters

Editor’s Note: Some of these also appear in appropriate categories throughout the website, but we include them here, as well.  Sometimes, we may have edited sexually explicit material.

You can read more LGBT personal reader experiences, here.

You may click here for the form to add you own non-sexual LGBT experiences or thoughts…

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I’ve always had an attraction to other females but I was to young to realize it was call anything, like gay or bisexual. I always crushed on guys and was only physically attracted to women. It wasn’t until high school that I realized I was bisexual. I was afraid people would judge me. I only told my bestfriend who was bicurious at the time. With my other friends I didn’t come out to so they asumed I only liked guys. When junior year came around (I’m a junior now) I felt more open. I started with coming out to my cousins and slowly to my friends. Soon after my school formed The Escense club also known as LGBT club. Joining the club made me feel confident in myself knowing that there were so many others like me at school and that I shouldn’t be afraid to embrace my true self.

Shay C.

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I am 55 from Israel. I have 2 friends whom I share my bed with.

Karador

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im a 35 yo italian bisex who only resently is completely out

Enzo

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I knew I was Bi at 15. Throughout High School, I was a closeted Afro-American teenager. I came to realized that was Bi during my Freshman year of college. I cried so many nights and thought about coming out to my parents. When the summer came, I said to myself that I was ready to come out to my parents. I met them in the office and told them that I was Bi. My mother said nothing. My Dad said I knew it. Then he said I don’t care who you like. I love you no matter what.

Henry S.

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I grew up feeling I wasn’t very important.


My father was in the military, so we moved around a bit. Therefore, I was never able to form lasting relationships with the people around me. And my extended family were always far away, so I never really grew attached to them.

In addition to my father’s job, my mother also worked. We (my sister and I) were put with babysitters, child care, and the like. I wasn’t close to my parents or my sister, but they were the only people who were always with me wherever we moved to. I was, of course, dependent on them for survival, but I didn’t know them and they didn’t know me.

I remember once that my parents were talking about one of my dad’s step-cousins. He was a bisexual male living with another guy, and they were both looking to have a woman move in with them. I remember the disgust my parents had about his “confusion,” “not knowing what he wanted.”

I’ve talked to a few men online who said their first bisexual/homosexual experiences were with classmates or friends. Most of them seem to follow the plot of, “He said we’d do things to each other (uaually oral), then after I did him, he left.” Personally, I never had a friend long enough that it would have even been conveivable to do that with.


Anyway, after I left home I joined the Air Force. My parents expected me to do so, and I had (undiagnosed) dysthymia (chronic, low-grade depression) and didn’t have anything better to do with mytime anyway. I was stationed at Kadena AB, Okinawa, Japan. That was where I had my first few male-on-male sexual encounters.

My first time with another man wasn’t the fantasy I’d been dreaming of. Heck, it was a spur-of-the-moment, sordid little thing. I was in a bathroom stall at the Rec(reation) Center on my military base. The stalls had walls that went almost down to the floor and about a foot from the ceiling. The walls had holes in them that, if you were sitting on the toilet, you could see the groin area of the next door neighbor.

One time when I was sitting there, doing my business, I saw some strange movements from the stall next to mine. It looked like the person in there was rubbing himself.

But now there was a stranger in the next stall, seeming to signal that he was interested in me.

Breathing hard, feeling a bit faint, I started to rub myself.

After a few seconds, he passed some toilet paper where he used a felt tip pen asking if I’d like to have some fun. Well, I was interested and we got together in one of the stalls.

And I freaked out about it afterwards.

Before this, I never really considered my sexuality. I mean, I knew I was interested in women. Since I never felt important (something I still have to work on to this day), I never really looked at people thinking, “Gee, I’d like to have sex with them. Wonder if they would feel the same about me…” I did have fantasies, but always when I was alone and always with a woman as my fantasy partner.

It took me a while to come to terms with my desire for male-to-male sex. And I regret that it took a while. My best friend (a straight guy) in the military married a lesbian so they could move out of the barracks and in! to a pla ce of their own. His wife had her partner living with them. I was supposed to not know the score, but, well, I did. In addition to the two lesbians (who were both friends to me, even though they didn’t know I knew), there were lots of gay visitors who were happy to have a safe place to meet up. If I had been able to come to terms with my sexuality, I would have been able to join in the group.

Since that first time, I have met with a few men, both in the Air Force and in college afterwards. Mind you, most of them were one night stands, nothing more. About the only man I wanted to be with as a lover was my best friend back then. I told him a few months ago about the crush I had on him, telling him that I knew it wouldn’t have come to anything. He said that he felt flattered about it, but agreed that he wouldn’t have been able to do anything else about it.

By an Alabama reader

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Being honest with people about your sexuality is called coming out. For many gay people, particularly if they are in their teenage years or early twenties, this can be a very worrying time, especially when it comes to telling your parents.

Whilst it may seem the right thing to do however, it is often better that you do not tell your parents first of all. Many people find it easier of they start by telling someone who is very close to them; perhaps a brother or sister or another family member.

Not only will this help you to gauge how your parents are likely to react, but they can also provide you with support and advice for when the time comes.

It is also important to understand that, in most likelihood, your parents will be shocked. Try and prepare for this, and have your answers and reasoning practiced. Most parents are understanding; they are people just like you and will, whether it is over a long time or not, accept and support your decision.

The most important choice you will probably have to make is exactly when and where you choose to drop this bombshell. For example, choosing your granny’s 90th is not recommended. Try and select a time when it is just the two or three of you.

It is also a good idea to try and drop some clues in the lead up to your announcement; to almost make them reach the conclusion for themselves. Indeed, they may surprise you and come to you with a welcoming embrace.

It is always best to be honest, but if you really feel your parents will freak, it may of course be the best decision to not tell them.

Telling your parents you are gay should be an experience as individual as you are, so make sure it is something you are comfortable with and happy to do.

 Another Reader

More LGBT reader comments, click here

 

 

 

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